By Jenn Smith


In my essay Synanon, the Brainwashing “Game,” and Modern Transgender Activism, I suggested modern transgender activism had many of the characteristics of a cult. This resulted in a great deal of backlash in the form of insults and threats to myself and people I know. My birth name was published and given to people that hate me, my computer was hacked multiple times, and my car was vandalized. Of course this type of reaction is typical cult-like behavior and shows just one of the reasons why I strongly oppose encouraging kids to transition. Trans activism is centered on the internet and is dominated by what I call “trans cult” extremists, and this kind of extremist cult psychology is a very bad thing to expose your children to, because it is dangerous and manipulative. There are, however, many other good reasons to dissuade kids from transitioning.

The purpose of this essay is two-fold: 1) to illustrate the powerful psychological forces that shaped my own transgender identity or inclinations, and 2) to explore the serious dangers and implications of promoting transgenderism in children. My own experiences can be argued to be rare and extreme, but we can sometimes learn more by examining extreme examples, which can serve to magnify or put a microscope on processes that are otherwise subtle. I would like to forewarn the reader that this essay is not designed to be cathartic or self-promoting. Much of the content is what I would call personally humiliating, which until recently I have tried to keep out of my mind. Rehashing some of this subject matter actually causes a kind of post-traumatic stress reaction in me, but I feel it is important to discuss these things with all of the transgender madness we see going on around us today, and particularly the danger I believe this poses to young minds.


“Diary” of a Transgender Mind and Its Evolution.

At 52 years of age I have been in the transgender community a very long time. I have known transgender people of all ages and know all of the dynamics of the community. As a related aside, few people on this planet understand men interested in Transgender identified males (TIM) better than I do, and this is relevant for anyone considering the promotion of a transgender lifestyle. This intimate knowledge of transgender life is actually a big part of why I believe kids must be discouraged from making gender choices while still in school.

I was born a male, am still male, will always be male, but present regularly in a feminine way. In transgender parlance I might be referred to as bigender, but I reject this label because it assumes that just because I do not glam myself up or feminize myself all the time that this is an indication I am not “full transgender.” This logic is absurd though because if applied to women would we then say that women that do not pretty themselves up constantly are not full women? The notion of course is absurd.  The well-known and highly referenced “transgender umbrella” makes it clear that the term “transgender” is an umbrella term covering various identities that cross traditional gender boundaries, and simply comes in different forms of expression and


and levels of dedication; other than that there is little difference between the different groups (with the exception of intersex, which should not be under the umbrella at all), although so-called post-op “transsexuals” (it is impossible to change sex) tend to have much higher rates of mental illness and suicidal inclinations (see chart below).


I feminize myself for social interactions and have done it for various reasons that have changed at different points in my life, many of which are related to mental health issues that came out of enormous psychological and emotional trauma experienced during the first two decades of my life, which will be touched upon in this essay.

Whether one wants to call me bigender or some other label, there is no no question that I am transgender and have lived as such and know all of the pressures etcetera associated with the lifestyle, and that is exactly what it is — an  expressive lifestyle choice. Putting on a skirt and makeup is a conscious choice designed to send a message to the outside world.

I have written in other places that I believe the massive proliferation of transgender identity over the last twenty years particularly has come out of a kind of collective psychological reaction to the hypersexualization of particularly women in society (a massive over-sexualization of society that is completely out of balance with the rest of nature; no other creatures in nature obsess and advertise sexuality so pervasively). This overwhelming accentuation of hypersexual imagery of women particularly has affected some of the most troubled and vulnerable minds in our society, and the research confirms this.

However one defines my gender expression or explains the widespread increase in transgender identity, my primary expertise is in so-called “male to female” (or, rather, “masculine to feminine” since sex change is not possible) transitions and the pressures associated with that. Initially, I did not really want to address the topic of when I first developed what is called “gender dysphoria” and when I “transitioned”, as these issues are actually very complex. I grew up in a time when such behavior represented the pinnacle of taboos, thus transitioning per se was much rarer. For this and various other reasons I thus drifted in and out of trans identity. Today my identity is split between a kind of androgynous persona and feminine, but I have never lost touch with biological reality.

In understanding how I came to the transgender lifestyle, it is important for the reader to begin by understanding that I was a foster child. I was made a ward of the province of British Columbia when I was about three years old, and would live in six different homes before I emancipated myself at the age of 16. The experience of being ripped from one home after another was extraordinarily hard on my young mind. I recall, for instance, being physically dragged from one home that I had become very attached to and crying and screaming as they loaded me into a car.  I remember looking out the back window of the car (no seat-belt laws in those days) and watching the family wave goodbye and then slowly disappear into the distance as we headed towards my new home. The trip between homes was probably a distance of about 40 miles; every muscle in my body was filled with extreme tension the entire distance. I could not understand why this was happening. When I arrived at my new home, my new foster mother tried to hug me and I virtually screamed in pain I was so tense.

My experiences of being torn from one home after another at a young age left me highly emotional, insecure, and prone towards crying easily. I was the youngest in my class, being born in late December, thus one of the very smallest. The bullies in school tuned in on my weaknesses very early and took great pleasure in harassing me until I cried. As a foster child I already felt rejected and worthless, thus casual constant insults like “reject” and “loser” were like gun shots to my wounded self-esteem. More extreme insults were almost fatal. I recall one good looking bully calling me an ugly freak and that I was “probably thrown into a trashcan” by my mother. Such viciousness made me occasionally intensely suicidal. I spent almost all of my school years living under a constant barrage of insults and/or physical violence. I felt rejected and indeed hated by the entire world, and spent enormous amounts of time alone, including playing board games with myself for hours and hours. I do not think I was ever given a test for Autism but I am quite confident such repetitive patterns and other behaviors make it clear that I would have tested positive had I been tested.


In terms of sexuality, I was also used sexually in foster homes by older foster boys. The first instance of this occurred when I was probably about five years old. I was convinced (bribed actually) to perform oral sex on a teenage foster boy. It was just the first of many such instances. I did not understand what was happening to me and certainly had no sexual response myself at that age (despite what the ghoulish theories of Alfred Kinsey might say). I actually cannot say that I registered the sexual experiences as “trauma” per se, at least not at that time, they just seemed exceedingly strange and left in me a sensation akin to being haunted. In any case, the exploitation probably at least played a role in unintentionally “grooming” my sexual identity.

I spent a couple of years living in a foster home where both of my foster parents digressed into the most extreme kind of alcoholism imaginable. I want to predicate this story by clarifying the fact that both of these foster parents were good, decent people when they were not drinking. But they both were totally absorbed by the bottle. My foster mother actually drank so much she slipped into what is referred to as alcoholic hallucinosis, which is a kind of alcohol induced insanity in which she would hear voices, hallucinate, and confuse her dreams with reality. As just an example of her behavior at this time, she burst into my room late one night in the pitch black when I was sleeping and began beating me over the head for something she had dreamt I was doing. Such events were common. During this period I would return home after a day of being harassed and bullied in school to a dark house, curtains drawn, sometimes the smell of burning food, never knowing who would stagger out of the darkness drunk and whether I would be safe or not. Day after day, week after week, month after month it was the same. Chased through the streets of town over and over by bullies, and returning to the “safety” of my home.

I had only a vague idea that I could seek recourse from my social worker, although I was never told this as a child and tended to believe adults were all in cahoots together. Any  ideas I had about trying to escape to a different home were ultimately over-ruled by an over-whelming fear of what unknown terrors might wait in a different home.  I thus decided enduring this scenario was better than risking a move. Better the devil you know than the devil you do not know was strongly at work in this case.

This situation persisted for the better part of two years before an older member of the family came back from an absence and became aware of what was going on. He immediately petitioned social services to have me removed from the home for my safety. When one combines the trauma of my early years with the constant bullying in school and the terror I lived under at home, I thus spent almost the entirety of my childhood in a perpetual state of rejection and fear almost at every turn. I thus began turning inward for escape.

It was in one of my foster homes in the early 1970s that I began compulsively feminizing myself. I am not sure exactly how old I was, possibly as young as nine. Initially there was no consciously (and I use that word advisedly) sexual impulse driving it, although that would change after puberty kicked in. It should be noted that prior to the new millennium 75% of transgender identified adults had male biology (numbers vary from study to study, and the ratio has been shifting dramatically recently [see image below]),

and this should suggest to you that it was (in my opinion) primarily driven by sexual/psychological symbols entering the male mind from the world around them, at least in its inception. Males are biologically much more susceptible to sexual imagery, which has been confirmed by the fact that the pornography industry was built almost entirely on a male clientele. This susceptibility to the many sexual symbols in our environment would also explain why transgender inclinations have increased as society itself has become increasingly sexualised. As Stephanie Davies-Arai has suggested, the opposite motivation might be true for females identified as transgender (TIFs) for whom transition may be one way to escape (rather than embrace) the hyper-sexualisation of females in society and the pressure associated with trying to live up to that image. Again, none of this needs to be conscious; it can all be subconscious in its inception. Trans identity, in my experience, in many cases is also related to internal discomfort caused by attraction to the same sex, but this is a complicated subject best left for another essay.

The point the reader needs to understand here is that in my case we were dealing with an extremely psychologically damaged almost certainly autistic child with absolutely no sense of self-worth, and whose already damaged sense of worth was repeatedly battered daily in school and at home. It is difficult, indeed extraordinarily traumatizing, to this day for me to look back into my young mind and consider the utter sense of worthlessness I felt. There are things that went on in my mind in regard to my self-image that I cannot even repeat without experiencing a kind of shift in my head that places me back in that state of being a terrifyingly self-loathing child. There are doors in some people’s minds that are closed and never opened for reasons of self-preservation. This struggle has forced me to repeatedly open those doors and it has been very difficult at times. That no child should ever be forced to endure this kind of psychological brutality should go without saying, but it is important to understand that it was this terribly devastated young mind that began desperately (perhaps unconsciously) seeking a newer, better identity. I was opting out of being me because I felt everything about me was a failure, and I believed that everybody hated and rejected me. Because I did not know the details of being put into foster care, I actually began believing the bully’s suggestion that maybe I was thrown in a trashcan by my mother. I wanted a new identity and life.

The road to salvation for me (or perceived salvation) came in the form of an older foster sister. She was very pretty and very popular with both boys and girls. She was the typical hyper-sexual mini-skirt clad 1970s sex-magnet. I saw that everybody adored her. The teenagers that followed her around all said nice things to me, which I found amazing. It was as if she floated through the world effortlessly surrounded by a bubble of positive energy.

At that time in western culture women in general were becoming increasingly sexualized and pornography was becoming more common and explicit. Nothing in the world seemed more popular to me than the hyper-sexual female.  Even though I did not yet understand that sexuality, I could see on the television and in magazines that everybody loved a pretty girl. It seemed that nothing I could do made me acceptable to society, so I began obsessing not on her, but on her presentation and gradually on other such females as well, and then began experimenting with feminizing myself.

Sometime after I began experimenting with this presentation I found, one day in a back alley, a stack of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. I recall an older man peering out a window at me as I walked away with them and was at first worried he would come after me but he never did. I am not sure if he placed them there for somebody like me to find or not, in any case I took these home and hid them, but studied them regularly. I did not at that time associate the women in the magazine with sex, but it most certainly triggered psycho-sexual reactions in me, and I would say this eventually contributed to me giving my own experiments in presentation a strong hyper-sexual emphasis (Please see the Addendum for an exploration of the role hyper-sexualized images of females play in transgender identity.)

Because it was strictly taboo at the time and place I grew up, I dressed and expressed myself in secret, but at every opportunity I had, for many years. I used my foster sister’s clothes (short skirts, shoes, makeup) and my foster mother’s wigs (she had naturally thin hair so she had wigs for when she went out). When I was done I would admire my creation in the mirror and felt a kind of unspoken power in what I saw. It was a new me. When I was done dressing up I looked, to be frank, like a pre-teen child prostitute.

Just dressing up regularly may not have indicated anything other than an unusual obsession and form of escapism, however, after dressing myself like a child prostitute, I would then go out walking around town like this! One day I was caught returning from one of my jaunts by my foster father. As a World War II veteran with very traditional values, he was obviously shocked. Such things were almost unheard of in that time and place. After shaking off the initial shock, he pushed me up against a wall, pointed his finger in my face, and told me in a very angry tone, “don’t you ever dress like this again … what the hell is wrong with you?” “Somebody is going to abduct you or who knows what!” “Never again!” “Do you hear me?” He made it clear I was a boy and not a girl, and that I needed to stop dressing like a girl. I heard what he said, but it only made me more careful, as I would do it over and over again for years.

As I had been using the provocative clothes of my foster sister, when she moved out after a few years I no longer had a suitable clothing supply to support my urges, but the urge to express and present myself in a hyper-sexual feminine form remained. I was already bullied in school all the time without feminizing myself, and thus I knew that trying to present myself like this in school would have been virtual suicide, thus it stayed pretty much strictly sub-rosa in my life until I was emancipated. My only major foray into transition in school came in the form of deciding one day to dress myself like the hyper-sexual and androgynous “Ziggy Stardust” (a David Bowie character) and go to school like this. Bowie had just managed to climb to the status of superstardom in Canada and had chart topping hits, thus I concluded being like Bowie was now cool, and I thought with my experience I could do it very well. It was not a good idea. I was ridiculed viciously all day. Late in the day a very large bully walked towards me in the hallway and without saying a word turned towards me and kicked me in the groin as hard as he could. I crumpled virtually paralyzed into a ball on the floor. I am sure the scene must have had a surreal quality to it; a skinny, pathetic imitation of Ziggy Stardust, writhing on the floor in pain while the goon leered down at his victim. Convinced he had inflicted sufficient harm, the bully then walked away as if nothing had happened. Needless to say I would not be so foolish again at school.

As the town I grew up in was a relatively small community, even in the early 1980s any adult males that dressed and presented themselves in feminine form did so at their own peril (despite the influence of Bowie and Boy George — note that: “Boy George”). While feminized males were becoming fairly ubiquitous in pop culture, that had not yet translated into acceptance on the streets. Nevertheless, I made several forays into public in my feminine form as a young man. I only did this when I was separate from friends and family members as I assumed none of them would support it. Certainly my foster families would never have endorsed it and probably would have regarded it as a sign of mental illness (a reasonable and documentable supposition). These early adult experiments in transitioning came to a very sudden and violent end one summer night when I dressed provocatively and decided to go out to a club.

I did not make it to the club. A carload of young men that I knew pulled up beside me as I walked down the street, and one very large aggressive young man began screaming at me that I was a so and so “fag”. As mentioned, I had been subjected to male aggression and assaults countless times as a youth and thus was very familiar with it, but this I immediately sensed was something terribly, terribly different. He was screaming at me so wildly and so loud I knew that if he got out of the car I was probably going to be in a lot of trouble. His friends were laughing and I heard him yell angrily “stop the car!” Those words still echo in my mind today like something from a nightmare. Every cell in my body seemed to be tingling, alerted and alarmed by an extreme sense of immediate mortal peril. The huge seemingly crazed goon got out of the car and walked quickly towards me and proceeded to assault me viciously. I was knocked to the ground and became convinced I was going to be killed by this lunatic, and might have been were it not for one unknown woman that stepped in. I do not know where she came from, but she pulled at my assaulter screaming “you are going to kill him … stop!!!” Her selfless bravery managed to convince my assaulter to relent. I never knew who that woman was, but out of a crowd of onlookers, it seems somehow apropos that it was only a woman that had the courage to step in and save me. I would, ironically, later learn that my birth father was killed in just such a beating. Fortunately I did not meet a similar fate, but I was highly traumatized by the event.

Obviously that kind of vicious beating would force anybody with a survival instinct to “reassess” whether you want to do it publicly anymore, and it gives new meaning to the term “scared straight”. It would be a long time before I presented myself in feminine form again, and despite the inclination I would never transition full-time, but would instead perpetually drift in and out of my alter-feminine-ego. I became for a time, and perhaps to this day, a kind of split personality. While I have a very real part of my personality that has tended towards feminine expression, I have always known I am not a woman, because that is a biological thing and, for me, trying to convince myself that I am or could be a woman would be the final sign I had drifted completely into insanity. I have thus always clung to biological reality; furthermore, I discovered that my feminine self had, specifically because of my male anatomy, an extraordinary sexual power over susceptible men, which in time would become a method of healing myself, restoring my sense of self-worth, albeit in way I am sure many would suggest should not have been pursued. But that, as they say, is another story.

The beating I received is an example to me of what the biggest problem was with how society related to transgenderism – namely, why would anybody beat bloody a harmless person like me and leave them in the street bleeding? That was always the biggest problem, not whether I had mad doctors ready to give me puberty blockers and hormones, and not whether or not I would be granted the status of a “real woman”. All I really needed was the ability to live in peace because ultimately I had unaddressed mental health issues (a study of children in 2015 found a large percentage of transgender children had previously undiagnosed autism).

In recent times society had afforded me the ability to live in peace fairly well, and then came what I call the TIM (transgender Identified Male) “trans cult” demanding the rights and the status of “real women.” This eventually led to the passing of Bill C-16 in Canada. The implications of Bill C-16 startled me, particularly the assault on the rights of women and the impact upon children. Furthermore, I could see the demands of transgender activists to be allowed into women’s changerooms, sports, and other female only programs, was generating powerfully negative reactions in the public. When I observed the television series Survivor engaging in what I believed to be propaganda designed to push this agenda, I decided I had to speak out and made a video on the subject.


The Problems and Perils of Child Transitioning.

I have always understood, at least since I hit puberty, that the feminization of the male body is clearly the homo-erotic sexualisation of the male body. It is an act that for most people tells the world that you are trying to be seen as a sex object to males. Whether it is fair or not, whether it is good or not, women have always been the primary objects of sexual attention in our culture. Thus for a young male to take upon himself the most hyper-sexual elements (skirts, heels, make-up, etc.) of the female gender is to make himself the object of male sexual attention, and that is what I have gotten whenever I have presented in feminine form. This is supported by the fact that the majority of transgender persons are either homosexual or bisexual.
sexualorientationScreenshot-2017-11-6 transgender-policybrief-oct2017 pdf
Transgender sexual orientation is very complicated and I could write a long essay simply on the psychology of how both the performer and the consumer of transgenderism think, but that is not the purpose of this essay. Immediately I am trying to illustrate the fact that by “feminizing” the male, in this case a young male, you are sexualising him. You are making him a sex object to males by adorning him in the gender symbols associated with the opposite sex , thus ultimately even pressuring him to fulfill that role (again, most of the sexual attention I have received has come from males), which is why so many religious people are opposed to transitioning children and why many homosexuals regard it as a form of conversion therapy for gays (if gay males present as “females” then they do not have to be gay). I think sexualizing young males in this way is a bad idea for reasons that should be obvious. But there are other good reasons why it should be discouraged too. (If you question whether feminizing a young boy sexualizes him, please watch this video and this, and judge for yourself.)

The danger in all of this is that once a child takes on the role of the opposite gender, the pressure to look the part becomes immediate and enormous, and they will thus begin looking to all the drugs and medical procedures that will help them look the part. But nothing a child or teen boy can do will change their biology from male to female. Males will never grow ovaries and females will never grow testes, and neither will ever have the actual genitalia of the opposite sex. XY chromosomes will always be XY chromosomes, and your DNA will always be the sex you were born. Of course we have delusional people like Caitlyn Jenner telling everybody a male can be a “real woman”. In a recent interview talking about his sex reassignment surgery (if he really had it), Jenner said “but I was just as much a woman before the surgery as after,” which begs the question of why bother having the surgery at all? Of course this idea that a male can become a female is prima facie absurd to anybody with even a modicum of honesty. You cannot feel like a woman, because that presumes you have a basis for comparison. You also cannot “identify” as a woman, you either are a woman or you are not. A woman is an adult female period, and it is important to protect the meaning of this word. If you destroy the meaning of the word “woman” then you destroy the intention of the laws designed to protect them.


Generally speaking it is usually a lot easier for TIFs (Transgender Identified Females), natal females, to make themselves appear masculine, but why would a parent encourage their daughter to do this? Why would you encourage your daughter to reject her sex, reject being a mother, and risk irreversible side-effects like permanent facial hair and male pattern baldness? What if she changes her mind as many trans do? According to one study approximately 1 in 26 transgender adults later said they regretted transitioning , while others drifted into psychiatric morbidity and suicide attempts. According to a study done by Devita Singh for the University of Toronto, the vast majority of children that had transgender inclinations (or so-called “Gender Identity Disorder”[GID]) outgrew these inclinations naturally after a few years. “Of the 88 participants who met the full diagnostic criteria for GID in childhood, 12 (13.6%) were gender dysphoric at follow-up and the remaining 76 (86.4%) were no longer gender dysphoric. Of the 51 participants who were subthreshold for the GID diagnosis in childhood, 5 (9.8%) were gender dysphoric at follow-up and the remaining 46 (90.2%) were not.”

Young boys and teens can actually feminize themselves fairly well because their full male hormones have yet to kick in. But it is an illusion; and a very dangerous one. Their male hormones will kick in, it is biologically pre-programmed; it has to do with chromosomes and DNA, which cannot be changed. And as they get into their teen years the ability to look soft and feminine becomes increasingly difficult. Bones will grow, hair will grow, muscles will grow, and yet they will have put themselves into a category in which feminine qualities are revered and manly qualities frowned upon. They will thus be subjected to the same kind of peer pressures that regular girls are in terms of looking as good as they can.

We all know about “mean girls” and social pressures in school; well there are “mean trans” now as well that can act in tandem with mean girls and mean boys, and those not “femme” enough will be subjected to either real or imagined peer pressure to look more feminine. As I began my campaign to dissuade schools and parents from allowing gender identity changes in children, I was immediately attacked by what I call “trans cult activists,” which I discovered are really just a branch of the “mean tranny” culture. They claimed I was too old and ugly to be transgendered and not feminine enough (I have had no surgery or hormones). They suggested the fact I knew I was really a male proved I was not really trans but in fact just a pervert, and even suggested I should kill myself (I cover some of this in my Synanon essay). A couple of these trans were particularly  vicious and apparently over-sexed teenagers. Of course the shallow little bullies could not know they were only making my point about the power of vicious peer pressure to conform to a particular standard of appearance.

The reader should spend a moment and go to this web-link and view the photo at the top of the story which shows two trans teens. The story discusses the harassment teen trans face in school. As described earlier in this essay I was bullied and harassed daily for almost a decade in school, and 99.99% of the time I went dressed as the sex I was born. I was a nerdy, emotionally troubled, overly sensitive, unpopular boy. When I look at the article cited I see in the photo a nerdy, emotionally troubled, teen boy that is now trying to present as female, quite possibly because he hopes he can be more popular as a female, or at least opt out of the “boys club.” I thus essentially see myself in such young males, which comprise a very large percentage of the teen trans population. Do you suppose anybody is doing a nerdy teen boy any favors by encouraging him to present as the opposite sex? Do you think that is going to make his life easier, or harder? I am going to suggest to you quite firmly that you would have to be a complete fool to think it will make it easier. If it is hard to be a nerdy unpopular boy, it is twice as hard to be a nerdy unpopular boy that is trying to present as a female. No pill is going to transform him into a popular good looking male or female, and no pill or amount of brainwashing is going to stop good looking popular kids from frowning on such youths. Society should not be fostering or catering to delusional notions that people are either trapped in the wrong body or would be better off as another sex; instead, we should be reinforcing positive “nerd” images, perhaps letting them know that nerds frequently have the last laugh (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg etc.), and encouraging them to accept their biology.

Even for those young males who are able to look reasonably feminine when they are young, for most of them the only way they will be able to maintain those feminine characteristics (if they are lucky and wealthy enough to afford it) will be to start heavy usage of hormones and/or puberty blockers, which can cause serious health effects and stunt brain and genital development. But because they have decided at a young age to put themselves in the role of the opposite gender, the pressure to use pharmaceuticals will be enormous (as will “gender affirming surgery” later on). For males to abstain from hormones will be almost impossible because pretty feminine transgenders will always be more popular than a boyish not so pretty or nerdy transgenders. To confirm this one needs only compare the popularity of apolitical Youtube videos of pretty trans compared to videos made of nerdy trans and the comments that accompany them. Some, like myself, may be able to get by without hormones, but most will succumb to the pressure to maximize their feminine qualities by using hormone replacement therapy. For some it will work, for others it will not, and this probably helps account for the high rates of suicidal ideation in “transgendered” people.

Young people should be encouraged to accept their natural bodies and selves. Children are prone to whims and flights of fancy, which is why we do not let them get tattoos or vote in elections, because they are not mature enough to make informed decisions that can seriously impact their lives or the lives of others. Children are being encouraged to “socially transition” now at an age when many parents will not even let them cross the road alone or walk to school alone, and yet they think their child can make an informed decision regarding their identity and the future direction of their lives? Children are also highly susceptible to influence by pop culture and images and ideas they encounter on the internet, and especially by the increasing prevalence of hardcore tranny pornography and similar images in Japanese anime/manga which coincidentally is extremely popular with trans youths today. We also know that transing can be psychologically contagious, because we have seen entire peer groups transition at almost the same time. One study estimated the transgender population in the United States doubled in six years, which could only be explained as the result of a kind of social contagion. Thus encouraging one kid to transition could be encouraging an entire group of kids to transition, which is covered in an article written by Jungian psychoanalyst Lisa Marchiano. The actions of one parent or family can thus affect another family, which is why everybody should have a say in this (In 2010, Tavistock’s Gender Identity Development Service had 97  “gender dysphoria” referrals to their clinic for children under the age of 18. In 2013, that number increased to 314. In 2017, in the wake of the broadcast of shows such as Caitlyn Jenner’s “I am Cait” and it’s teen equivalent “I am Jazz,” referrals to Tavistock jumped to an astounding 2,016; that is twenty times as many referrals, including children as young as three and four years old!) We know all of this, and yet currently, in a kind of mass psychosis, society is encouraging delusions of being the opposite sex in children and reinforcing them. Once they have been encouraged, drugged, and reinforced by authority figures, they are turned loose in the community with a sense of (in some cases angry) entitlement. When people that do not believe males can be females question them (in other words, people that still stubbornly subscribe to reality) they get very angry and sometimes violent. This is all insanity that needs to end. Transing is an adult decision, period, and sex change is impossible.

As I have aged, every day has brought with it the struggle to retain or regain the feminized charms I could once fake fairly well in my youth. I believe many transgenders that have killed themselves may have succumbed, at least in part, for this very reason (although possibly complicating comorbid conditions are ubiquitous). A Dutch study showed a high mortality rate among transitioned adults, with the average age of those that died being just 53½ . No matter how pretty I have tried to make myself, I have always seen a man looking back at me in the mirror. This is a common report with many trans that I have known, even those on hormones that I regarded as passable. The reaction is akin to anorexics that look in the mirror and see themselves as fat even when they are skinny, but in the case of trans it is truth not distortion that disturbs. Why would you want to subject young males to this kind of dangerous pressure to be femme? It is hard enough to deal with as an adult let alone as a child or teen. For mothers that have been in the “mean girl” culture in school, imagine if you had all of those pressures to be pretty, but that you had male hormones busy morphing you into a masculine form. Do you have any idea how very dangerous this would be to a young mind? Peer pressure, or perceived peer pressure, and the mirror will combine to instill in children an enormous desire to use pharmaceutical methods of making themselves more feminine (or masculine in the case of girls). And this should help to explain why pharmaceutical companies, one of the wealthiest and most powerful political forces in western culture, have been so involved in promoting everything transgender.

We know that extensive use of hormones can lead to increased risks of cancer and all kinds of health problems, not to mention compromising the endocrine gland system, sterilizing children, and rendering many sexually dysfunctional, thus of little use in that way to males or females (increases in estrogen levels in men has particularly high risks associated with it). Parents of young males should be aware that if your child has any inclinations towards same sex relationships, my extensive experience has revealed that the vast majority of men interested in TIMs are only interested in TIMs with intact and functional genitals. If you put young males on puberty blockers and/or hormones you can stunt genital development and even render them sexually dysfunctional and sterile, thus also making it very difficult for them to find anybody interested in them romantically, because the ability to function sexually is important to most young people (“Within a few months of beginning hormone therapy, you must assume that you will become permanently and irreversibly sterile,” University of California; see also a TIM’s report after stopping HRT, “Hormones permanently emasculated me. The size of my testicles went from pinballs to white grapes. My penis was never big, but it’s now embarrassingly small and for practical purposes I’m now impotent. I’ve regained the ability to occasionally get a soft erection but not firm enough for sex. Neither my penis nor my testicles [have] ever regained any size [years after quitting hormone usage]”). Despite this psychiatrists and doctors associated with the radical LGBT extremists and drug companies will prescribe puberty blockers and hormones to confused youths responding to peer pressure. Males that are put on this path that end up having genital surgery as young adults, will by that act remove 98% of the males and females that would have been interested in them, thus potentially sentencing themselves to a very lonely life or at least severely limited options.

It is enormously expensive to look really good as a transgender, thus only those with the funds necessary will be able to rise to the top, so there is an elitist bias as well. By making a conscious decision to facilitate your child becoming transgender, you are also consciously moving them into a group known to have high rates of suicide. Why would you knowingly move your child into a group like that? While we do not know suicide rates of people that decide not to trans, we know trans identified people in general have high rates of suicide, although a lot of this may be related to mental illness (suicide rates in trans identified adults correspond almost exactly with suicide rates in schizophrenic patients); please note after my first publication of this essay the page linked was deleted from the CMHA website and I thus had to link it through the Wayback machine).
My advice is to let kids work within their normal gender as children, and if they want to trans when they are young adults out of school that will be their decision and one they are better qualified to make. We do not let kids drink alcohol or drive cars at young ages, we do not let them have sex with adults when they are under the age of consent (society itself does not let parents let kids have sex with adults when they are under the age of consent) why would we let them make a serious life altering decision to change gender when we know most kids grow out of these inclinations naturally when left alone? Why would you knowingly put your child on the difficult path of presenting and living as the opposite sex, when the only way they can do this convincingly is by subscribing them to a lifetime of possibly health-destroying drugs and surgeries? Why would any responsible parent do that? Because your kid wants to? When I was young I wanted to move to the Amazonian Rain-forest at one point and live with the natives! Kids are so naive and impressionable we have to think logically for them. Many people that trans end up regretting it when it is too late and their bodies have already been destroyed. As Socrates suggested over two millenniums ago, it is the duty of parents to serve as the guardians of their children’s best interests until they have developed their own internal guardian wise enough for the task – until that time it may be necessary to intervene and tell them “no, you need to wait until you are an adult to make that decision.” Too many parents concentrate on being a friend to their kids and acquiescing to their whims, and forget all about being a parent and what that entails.

The alleged ever present danger of suicide is continually cited by big pharma funded proponents of medical transitioning using frightening expressions like “it is better to have a living daughter than a dead son.” The biggest long term study on medical transitioning however has not shown that medical transitioning reduces suicide, what it has shown is that people that transition have suicide rates much higher than the average person (as much as 9 times higher). At the time your child queries you about wanting to transition they are still in a gender-conforming low suicide risk group. By agreeing to let them transition you are deliberately moving them into a group known to have high rates of suicide. Why would you do that? Furthermore, and problematic, is the fact that Lupron is frequently prescribed to transgender youths to delay puberty, but the drug itself has been shown to cause severe depression and suicidal ideation. All of the details of the side effects of Lupron are not known, as the results of research were essentially banned from publication (redacted). AbbVie’s Lupron sales in 2015 in just the United States alone totaled almost a billion dollars despite the drug’s well known side-effects. A typical prescription where I live costs approximately $400 per month. According to EHealth, 841 people have died suddenly while taking Lupron, including 10 children, 92% were male, and there has been a huge spike in reported deaths over the last two years. The drug is so powerful it is used as a kind of chemotherapy. But parents will happily give this to their kids so they can look more like the opposite sex.

Is it ethical to put mentally disturbed children on a path that can radically alter and limit their lives? Is it ethical to put children on paths that are almost certain to turn them into lifelong pharmaceutical patients using drugs that can cause serious health effects? By today’s standards, as a child I would have probably been diagnosed with gender dysphoria because of my excessive compulsion towards expressing in a feminine way. I probably would have ended up being put on a path towards permanent full-time gender transitioning, and I may have ended up with stunted genital and brain development as a result, and perhaps would have been moved towards genital surgery and early death (as this study suggested). I cannot tell you how happy I am today that this did not happen, but it brings in to question the ethics of encouraging very young (some mentally disturbed) kids to transition. Doctors seem to get around this today by suggesting the urge to identify as the opposite gender does not constitute a mental disorder (despite the fact previous research showed that 52% had one or more DSM identified psychiatric conditions). On this subject the American Psychological Association wrote, “A psychological state is considered a mental disorder only if it causes significant distress or disability … many transgender people do not experience their gender as distressing or disabling, which implies that identifying as transgender does not constitute a mental disorder.” While the APA (over whom the pharmaceutical industry has a well-known influence) says identifying as the opposite gender is not a mental disorder, strangely many of these same doctors suggest that medical transing prevents suicide. Really? Well aren’t suicidal tendencies an indication of severe mental distress, and does that not suggest the presence of a mental disorder at some point in the process? The urge to transition is frequently the result of or made in the presence of a mental disorder, and in my opinion may also be a form of Obsessive Compulsive behavior, which has recently been observed in a study published by the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists entitled “Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Presenting as Gender Dysphoria/Gender Incongruence: A Case Report and Literature Review.”

Instead of moving kids towards medical transitioning, why not do everything possible to encourage them to accept their biological sex and body, since that is reinforcing reality? Furthermore, we know most kids that are not medically transitioned grow out of it and associate with their real biological sex. When Ken Zucker decided that this fact suggested moving most kids away from transitioning (taking a “wait and see” approach) was a good strategy, trans activists attacked him, lied about him, and essentially got him fired.  So-called “gender dysphoria” is the only mental condition I know of where delusions are actually encouraged, nurtured, and hermetically sealed via “gender affirming” surgery, which is contrary to treatment of all other delusional conditions. It would seem more logical to reinforce reality and give kids the chance to pass through childhood as normally as they can, and then let them make their own decisions when they are adults. Especially when the motivations to trans are quite possibly due to hyper-sexual influences in their environment and/or motivated by self-esteem issues. Many of these children have also been shown to be homosexually inclined; in this case transing them into female form is a kind of conversion “therapy” akin to laws in Iran that demand homosexuals become feminized transsexual eunuchs or face death. Whatever the motivations, the outcomes are highly dubious and should be dissuaded until they are adults.

It is, I believe, an offence to encourage a kid to believe they can be the opposite sex if for no other reason than the fact that it is not true! Everybody knows intuitively that males cannot be females. So why encourage them to internalize and accept a lie? Truth and reality should be the foundations of any sane identity, at least from the perspective of a secular state. Instead, we have a system in place now that is busy tearing down sanity in order to serve madness. Much of this is justified by pointing to super pretty transgenders that look like Playboy models (whom comprise a tiny percentage of the trans population); the problem there is that it is not only a propaganda trick but also an illusion – what you cannot see is that most of them have male genitals because they are male. The fact that they appear to be female is being allowed to trump the reality of their male genitalia and biology. All tween TIMs, for instance, have male genitals and yet we are sending them into swimming pool changerooms to get naked with biological tween females at a time when hormones are raging. That is a bad idea, unless you want to hyper-sexualize them (which I understand some elite ghouls actually want to do). When we discuss laws and rules (such as a female’s right to bodily privacy, women’s sports and programs, and women’s rights in general) we have to focus on reality not appearances. As the philosopher Immanuel Kant noted, appearances speak to perceptions and beliefs, whereas knowledge and truth is based on reality, in this case biological reality. The vast majority of trans (TIMs) do not look like playboy models, they look very boyish or androgynous. We cannot allow the tricks of cheap magicians and propagandists to fool us into believing something that isn’t true; birds cannot be turned into bouquets of flowers and men cannot be changed into women, no matter how it appears in either case. Men can play the part of women, but they cannot be women because the reality is that they are men. And yet a large segment of radical transgender activism, what I call “the trans cult”, insists that men can be real women. This reality denying tendency in the modern trans agenda and its rise to power under the protective wing of and support from government, Hollywood, media, and big business, summons to mind a quote from Pankaj Mishra’s book Age of Anger, “we are not only horrified but baffled…nothing since the triumph of the Vandals in Roman North Africa has seemed so sudden, incomprehensible, and difficult to reverse” (p.6). My peace as a trans adult comes from accepting reality and knowing that I am biologically male; I can, as an adult, present in any form I like, feminine or masculine, but I can never change my sex, do not want to, and am happy and proud of my body. That is what we should be teaching kids: to accept their biological sex and bodies first, because truth is always better than lies. Now I do understand that most of the people at the top of our society do not necessarily subscribe to this notion regarding truth as an imperative, but fortunately most average people do.

My well-informed, time-tested experience, intimate knowledge of the community, and the internal psychology of trans-life, has led me to believe that facilitating what in most cases might just be childhood whims or psychological disturbances, is highly dangerous and irresponsible. As a child I stayed in my biological sex-informed gender role. Being forced to stay in that role did not harm me and actually probably helped me not only to accept the reality of my biological sex, but it almost certainly also helped me to avoid experiencing even more pain and pressure. Furthermore, many of the kids we see transitioning today are kids with wounded egos, very similar to myself when I was young; it is, I would argue, gross negligence as a doctor or as a parent, to take a wounded or confused child and accept their rejection of themselves and their biology, and then medicalize them onto a path from which there may be no return and could lead them to serious health problems or even early death. Just say “no” to promoting gender change in our children. By placing young people in a gender role their bodies are not designed to fulfill and putting them in a situation where they will be subjected to enormous peer pressure to look the part, you may actually be planting a time-bomb in their lives and end up destroying more children than you help.

The question of the role that hyper-sexual images of females in our culture played in my first experimenting with expressing as the opposite gender as a child, brings me to an important idea I have been working on regarding the increase in not only transgender identity in our culture, but also the increase in the extreme nature of pornography today.
My theory is that the current transgender epidemic emerged out of our having driven large segments of society essentially mad by constantly bombarding them with sexual imagery. The perpetual assault of sexual imagery and pornography on the human mind is totally out of place/balance with nature. The most susceptible minds are males, especially young males, because they are biologically preprogrammed to have strong reactions. I believe this obsessive bombardment has caused a kind of sexual sensory cognitive trauma to, particularly, although not exclusively, the male mind. Some males will be more prone to it than others, as will some females, although male physiology would make them naturally more susceptible. We know the male mind responds to sexual imagery in much the same way the brain responds to cocaine, thus perpetual exposure to hyper sexual images would constitute a form of cognitive sexual overdose. The consequences of this are a kind of quasi-psychotic break in certain minds, and the need for more and more unusual and even extreme forms of sexual expression and identity. Just as drug addicts develop tolerance for their drug and need more and more, so my extensive personal experiences with sex addicts indicates that they too develop a tolerance for normal or less intense forms of sexual behavior, and continually escalate to more and more unusual and extreme forms of sex.
The idea that an overstimulation of the mind and body by sexual imagery has caused individuals to begin thinking and acting in bizarre and extreme ways, also correlates with the fact most serial killers report extensive and excessive exposure to pornography, usually beginning at a young age. Thus serial killer Ted Bundy, in his final interview said, “my experience with pornography … is once you become addicted to it … you keep craving something that is harder, something that gives you a greater sense of excitement.” “Until you reach a point where the pornography only goes so far, you reach that jumping off point where you begin to wonder [about] … actually doing it.”  But it does not have to be pornography in its most extreme form. Most sex addicts will tell you that even fully clothed but sexualized images of females can trigger them over and over. Not only does the rise in transgender identity correlate with the rise in sexual imagery and pornography in society, but we also see a corresponding rise in the extreme, debauched, and frequently violent nature of modern pornography. Those that produce such pornography, especially pornography that mixes sex with violence (including “R” rated pornography in tv shows such as True Blood), are guilty of sexually traumatizing the collective unconscious of humanity. I believe this hyper-sexual traumatizing of the human mind gave birth to the modern transgender epidemic, although once big pharmaceutical companies and other vested interests, not to mention social engineers, got involved and began manipulating the public for political and financial reasons, the causes have now become more diverse and complicated.

34 thoughts on “The Teen-Transgender Peer Pressure Time-Bomb: Lessons From the Life and Experiences of a Transgender Elder. (Newly updated)

  1. This is a beautiful, heart-wrenching, compelling piece of writing. You are a beautiful person. You are selfless. Our children need legal protection from the most insidious predator they have faced: Big Pharma. I’d also like to know how many of these children are on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds as we know they also can increase suicidal ideation in children/teens. Our children’s bodies are the new economy. And Big Pharma is a master at marketing, creating hysteria and group think, which we are seeing here. Thank you for writing this.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Thank you for writing this and for your honesty and courage in sharing your story. I appreciate how hard that must be and how much it has left you open to attack by trans activists.

    It has also helped me understand how and why trans people like you, good people can come to a place where living as you do makes sense to you.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Jenn you are a very brave and courageous person to be so vulnerable, when you know there are people that will take every opportunity to hurt and destroy you at a very intimate level with this information. I appreciate your courage. I am grateful that you care about the lives of children and the next generation enough to pay this difficult price.


      2. Thank you for the feedback. I realize I am putting myself in danger of being tarred and feathered, and already have been more than once, but somebody has to stand up for what is right. I have a long history of walking through shame, so I guess I am qualified for the part, lol.


  3. Thank you, you have given so selflessly in this essay. I too would have been pushed to transition had I been a child of today. My family of origin did not define gender. It was important that our dad taught us to knit, bake pastries and rebuild motors. It didn’t matter if I was a girl or my brother a boy we were treated as people who mattered. Thank you again and for putting yourself out there.


  4. Jenn, this is really a remarkable piece. I am utterly convinced that you have lived all you have, arrived here at this terrible time in history, when so many children are being harmed by this new warped trans ideology, so that you could help. There is so much honesty here, so much depth that it can’t help but reach people. Thank you for this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Jennifer. I don’t know. I certainly stumbled here. Things arranged themselves almost. I really did not want to expose my personal humiliations, but I think there is an important lesson for both sides of the trans debate. Most importantly, that I think people need to understand the way they are shaped and that no matter how we end up we need to keep ourselves anchored in reality. I also think most young trans are shaped in the same way as me, by outside influences/symbols that they latch on to. I reject this ridiculous “born this way” narrative for trans and I reject ANY methodology that involved medical/surgical transition. This is a mind management thing in all cases, but not by butchering and brutalizing the body. Instead of “I am that,” how about “I am this”?

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you, Jenn. Your essay is brave and brilliant. You have eloquently validated my feeling that much of the trans youth movement has a cultic aspect. Needless to say, if your profound message, with all of its points, can be brought to those who need to receive it, that message will help countless people in pain and confusion to live happier lives.

    Very best wishes.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I found your piece to be beautifully written, thoughtfully argued, and eloquently stated. How anyone could call that hateful or bigoted is beyond me. As a gay man, I worry for the next generation of gay youth who refuse to conform to the restrictive and repressive g-nd-r ideology (or even of nongay youth who simply dig androgyny). My question is how we get people like this to realize that you can express yourself without destroying yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for your comments. In LGBT, I am B and T, so I have no hate for people based on sexual orientation. Unfortunately we have big money and other interests driving this agenda. I suppose it starts by getting people talking about in an environment free from propaganda and vitriol. How we wrestle wealthy power blocks I am not sure, but it starts with people standing strong and speaking what they believe. We also need people within LGBT to wake up and realize the movement is being used, and perfectly healthy young boys and girls, many of whom may be gay, are being converted into pharmaceutically altered dependents, when they should be encouraged to accept themselves and their bodies.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. What a wonderful essay, thank you so much Jenn. Thanks also to Jennifer Bilek for posting it. I also shared it. I feel your perspective should inform policy decisions on every level. Last: there is so much in your essay, so much wisdom and experience; possibly the most important essence you convey is your love, your love for self and for all and everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I sure appreciate the voice of sanity! I am very grateful for your courage, wisdom and guts to share! A person’s value, and beauty, and worth, should not be limited to their external appearance. Feeding the lie, that our culture often presents, that a person’s value is primarily based on their appearance, or gender, or color, or ??? FUELS elitism, hatred, bullying and the destruction of individuals. I think it is important to value and love individuals for who they are, and celebrate the beauty that is uniquely them. Teaching children to change who they are, or what they are, rather than accepting, valuing, and loving, who they really are, could be a big mistake.


  7. Correction notice: In a previous version of this essay I referred to Lisa Marchiano as “the parent of a trans child”. This is incorrect and a result of a mix-up in my memory. Sorry Lisa.


  8. THANK YOU! This is so well written. I don’t think anyone can explain it better. I was confused about the trans-gender changes and the approach in our society towards it, and you just made me understand. Bless you and I hope you know how BIG your purpose in this life is. You can actually help save people.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you, especially about the part that we should encourage children to love themselves as they are – love their bodies instead of “transing” them. Under any other circumstance we would object to the child’s self hatred; it seems to me that encouraging the child to transition is encouraging them to hate themselves and in fact solidifying that hate. How can that be healthy?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You have a great mind.:) I love the truth, even though most the time, the truth is very ugly… My childhood was also an extreme example, I’m realizing,, with moving, rotating “dads”, a nurse, dreams, sympathy pains, my body… Hearing your story affirms what I have come to, that, my life shaped what I am. I am responding to the influences that I’ve been exposed to. I also know what I am and I love to play make believe, so I do as often as possible. The experience of presenting as female, for me is an escape. It is a complete escape for me, I can’t even remember details of my male life when dressed, better than drugs as far as relief from worries and pressures and the like. If I was a kid today and that option to turn into a girl was there, I would have taken it. As luck would have it, I was born too soon. Hey it’s good to be older.:)
    Big Pharma is a problem, that I had not considered, but they are a problem, while not about the pharmaceutical industry in particular, this documentary: “The Corporation” It sheds some light on corporations, it’s far more interesting than what it seems…
    Mostly though,
    thank you for a voice of reason!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Jenn, I cannot say thank you enough for bearing your heart and soul and sharing the truth with the world regardless of the opposition you must face.
    As a mother, my heart breaks for that little boy. I wish I could’ve held you and loved you and protected you from all the horror of what you went through. When I read this I’m reminded that we really do live in a very broken, sinful, messed up world. I pray God continue to use you to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves yet, this next generation. You have such purpose in life, many live never knowing or understanding what theirs is. Your life is making a difference, because you speak the truth. You are beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Trying to do what is right.

        And you are succeeding.

        Wonderful essay, a privilege to read it.

        Should be mandatory in all schools.


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